Relationships between Donors and Intended Parents
When you’re considering becoming an egg donor, it’s important to understand the different types of relationships and communication options available between you and the Intended Parents (IPs). Each arrangement has its own characteristics, and choosing the right one can help create a positive and fulfilling experience for everyone involved.
Non-Identified/Anonymous Donation: In an “anonymous donation”, there is no direct contact or personal information exchanged between you and the IPs. Your identity remains confidential, and you’ll only receive general updates about the outcome of the donation, such as whether a pregnancy was achieved. This option is typically chosen for privacy reasons, but it can sometimes leave both parties with a sense of curiosity or lack of connection. With options like 23andMe, Ancestry.com, google image search, etc, anonymity can no longer be guaranteed.
Semi-Open Donation: Semi-open donation strikes a balance between privacy and connection. While you and the IPs won’t have direct personal contact, you’ll share non-identifying information with each other. This could include general updates, medical history, and perhaps some background information about yourselves. Semi-open arrangements offer a sense of connection and understanding without the need for direct, ongoing communication, making it a popular choice for many.
Open Donation: In an open donation arrangement, you and the IPs have the opportunity to communicate directly. This can include sharing more personal information, having meetings or calls, and possibly even establishing an ongoing relationship. Open donation allows for greater transparency and can create a deeper connection between you and the IPs. This can be especially meaningful for both parties, providing a sense of mutual respect and understanding.
Why Semi-Open or Open Donation is Often Best
- Enhanced Connection: Semi-open or open arrangements provide a level of communication that can foster a better understanding between you and the IPs. This connection can be comforting for both parties, helping to build trust and ensure that everyone feels respected and valued.
- Future Considerations: An open or semi-open arrangement allows for the possibility of sharing updates about the child in the future, if desired. This can be important for the IPs, who might want to keep you informed about the child’s development and milestones.
- Emotional Fulfillment: Being able to communicate with the IPs can provide emotional satisfaction, knowing that your donation is helping someone achieve their dream of parenthood. It can also help you feel more connected to the process and the impact you’re making.
- Best Practice: We are learning from Donor Conceived Adults that it is in their best interest to have access to information about and the ability to ask questions of the donor in the future.
Ultimately, choosing a semi-open or open donation arrangement can enhance the experience for both you and the IPs, allowing for meaningful communication and a stronger sense of connection. It’s a choice that reflects a commitment to creating a positive and respectful relationship throughout the journey of building a family.
